Friends, Indians and countrymen...lend me your ears(and your doubled over bottom if ur a girl of nubile age). This is my first blog...be nice to the virgin. I dunno if it helps for you to know but most of the time I'm a of sort ranting, whining arse wipe. In other words, all you'll probably read off this page are complaints.Like this huge problem I've got with customs officials(no, that doesn't make me a dope peddler!)-My parents and I had just collected our baggage and were getting it screened at the customs counter. Suddenly, this rag of a cop turns up at my side and asks me in a servile tone if I could just step aside with him. Praying he wasn't gay, I did. Next the trash praised me to high heavens for having a passport. Now this was getting confusing...I hate it went when they don't get to the point but that's apparently how the government teaches them to deal with matters. Then he came to the pith of the matter-he wanted me to go the duty free booze shop and buy him two bottles of the finest liquor money can buy-and boy was he rolling in the stuff! He was producing hundred dollar bills faster than a malfunctioning teller machine. I have no idea where it came from, or who it came from. I think you'll agree that we've all got sort of insulated from 'trivial' matters such as corruption( high and low level). So my biggest worry wasn't the going to dogs of our system or the absolute apathy of our primary domestic protection force. No,it was the fact that this swamp slug had chosen me for his dirty work. Turns out, you need a passport to make purchases in the DF shops. Just then, my mom stepped in and blasted the fellow out of the weeds. Now that is a right you only have access to when you're a)old and b) when you're a girl.Girls can always cry wolf even when there isn't one lurking amidst the sheep.And this scares the sheep and the wolves no end. Though sometimes the really hungry wolves hazard a try anyway. But anyway, my mom having satisfied both criteria, left the cop tongue tied. That didn't stop him though. He made a 'setting' with the baggage screener who immediately stopped our bags and claimed we were trying to evade duty for our two cameras. Even a four year old plug ugly could have made out the age of the cameras-both were over two years old. So there we stood trying to convince the two slugs about the age of our cams when in strode a new, senior-ish, uniformed official. He immediately told the other two to let me go because I was with my parents. His words amounted to 'let them go...they're together....get someone else'. Finally we were allowed to grab our bags and leave. The officails have a simple plan of action- catch the youngest looking loner(guy obviously...too dangerous to get girls to do it) and ask him to do the needful. If he refuses, try and lampoon him on some stupid charge and offer to be munificent by letting him off for a 'simple' favour. The booze then makes it way to vaious sources waiting outside, marvelling at the cheap rates and slick methods. Want a tip?If you're alone, appeal to the motherly instincts of other loner female passengers(preferably hot and 25) and pretend to 'be' with someone.Who knows...you might even get a date out of it.
Warriors were always young men(sorry feminists-xena does not count.She used to sleep her way thru battles) with great brawn and bravery. They were the power, the force. Not so now. Now is the age of the old and more specifically, the women. So if you are a woman, feel great-the world is yours to roam. If you are old(40+) and you are a woman, then the world is your oyster.You own the place ladies.